A Christian Lawyer’s Approach to Divorce:
A Personal Testimony
by Raymond Dague

I handle all kinds of legal work. I do real estate closings, probate wills, file bankruptcy, defend criminal charges, do guardianships, and represent churches and not-for-profit organizations, and plenty else. That is the way of general practice; something new every day, depending on who knocks on the door or the calls the office. Everything in the law has ethical implications, and is a challenge in this secular legal culture. But nothing is more ethically challenging than family court and divorce.

When I started my law practice over 26 years ago, I never imagined that I would get involved in divorce. Doesn’t Jesus frown on divorce in the Gospels? Other Christian lawyers I knew would not do them. My initial assumption was that this is an ungodly business which I would be best to avoid.

But two things changed my mind. I represent people in divorce, and a good number of those people are Christians. One thing which changed my mind is the people who have come my way with their personal stories. The other thing is a reflection on the scriptures.

A long time ago I saw a woman in my office whose daughter was abused by her husband. She had three other children, no job, little formal education and no prospect for a future. Another Christian lawyer told her to go home and pray for her husband, since Christians should not get divorced. She tried that, and then even more desperate she came to me.

When her estranged husband hot-wired her car one Wednesday night as she was at her church for a service, and took it from the church parking lot while she was inside at prayer, I realized that action is sometimes necessary. I took the case, and prosecuted a divorce. The case was personally gut wrenching for me, but the end was a “win.” It ended when the husband’s lawyer came to me and said that his client could not withstand a trial with the disclosures that would follow about his conduct. He asked for our terms for reconciliation. It did not happen immediately, but after much counseling and repentance, they were reconciled.

I rejoiced in the Lord at such a result, but said in prayer, “Please don’t send me any more of these clients; they are just too gut wrenching for me to handle.” That next week I got two more such clients with personal stories just as hair-raising as the first.

For some time I quietly handled divorce and family court cases. I did not widely advertise the fact, but people somehow found their way to my door. Selectively I took some of them. I tried to use spiritual criteria in doing so, but my thinking was not clear with a solid Biblical justification.

A few years ago the Christian Legal Society asked me to conduct a seminar for attorneys who handle family law cases. It turns out that there were a lot of Christian lawyers across the country doing so. It’s pretty tough to teach other lawyers about something unless you have thought it through pretty well. This forced me to reflect on the Biblical reasons in a way which I had never done.

I have long realized that Jesus and his seemingly absolute prohibition of divorce is not so absolute on the subject. Depending on which Gospel passage one reads there are exceptions for adultery, and other unfaithfulness. Jesus’ strong preference is that marriages stay together, but he made accommodation for man’s sin. Indeed his entire life, death, and resurrection is an accommodation for man’s sin. He is the escape from sin.

And then there is Moses. Jesus said that divorce was for man’s hardness of heart, but that God’s plan is for marriages to endure. Yet somehow God made accommodation for man’s hardness of heart and allowed divorce. God knew that sin was a fact of life.

The scripture tells us that Moses was a judge as well as God’s lawgiver. When the people of Israel were wandering in the wilderness they didn’t have much money or property to fight about. So what did Moses judge? Criminal violations of God’s laws, no doubt. But human nature being what it is, one of his principal jobs as a judge must have been dealing with what today is called family law. And the first record of a child custody case is in the Bible. Solomon had to decide which of two prostitutes was to be the custodial mother of a baby. Both claimed the child as her own. Pretty gritty stuff, yet God’s chosen had to deal with it all.

Divorce is not a good thing. The damage is threefold: spiritual, financial, and psychological. Yet God, as always, makes a way out for man’s sin. That is not to say that every divorce is one which a Christian lawyer should take. There must be a process of discernment. Even in the face of serious sin, one must somehow be faithful and listen to the Lord. Divorce should be a rare and extreme thing for the Christian, and for the Christian lawyer. But there does seem to be a place for family law in the practice of the Christian attorney.

Raymond Dague is a Syracuse NY attorney who has practiced family law for many years but who has never advertised that portion of his law practice until recently. He can be found at (315) 422-2052 and on the web at www.DagueLaw.com