Save me from this monstrous regiment of Christmas women
December 05, 2006
Charlotte Phillips

Our correspondent confesses that she's hopeless when competing with the cake-making, fête-winning perfectionism of middle-class mums.

It was the gingerbread house that did it this weekend at the school Christmas fair. It came with every mod con including, probably, a marzipan Aga and planning permission for a treacle-toffee loft extension. When my daughter compared it with our festive offering — biscuits with icing that looked less like seasonal motifs than the gory aftermath of some nasty angel violence — she burst into tears. I felt like doing the same.

Yes, Christmas is here, the time of year when middle-class mothers form into marauding bands of DIY enthusiasts and run amok at school fêtes, threatening terrified incompetents like me with their range of icing nozzles and home-made cards. the rest

(Actually, I am very glad to reap the benefit of women much "craftier" than I am-just don't expect much from me! -PD)