Thursday, October 06, 2011

Remembering my Father-in-law: Raymond E. Dague 1919-2011

Today, my husband's father, also named Raymond, died at 92 years of age.   Raymond has been in Milwaukee since Tuesday when he heard his father was near death, but will be coming home today.  The funeral will be sometime next week. -PD image

October 6, 2011

When I first met my future husband’s dad, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. I had heard about him from my then boyfriend, his son, but coming from a lower middle class working family and knowing that he was a big corporate executive (an international vice-president of Allis Chalmers) I had some trepidation. Raymond would talk of his dad’s travels to many countries in the world and his meetings with high government officials. I had thought I was somewhat cosmopolitan in the fact that I had traveled to the Daytona and Virginia beaches and even to York, Maine, but that concept was dashed when I realized how my travels paled in comparison to his experiences.

Raymond Sr. was kind and gentle to this shy young woman who would be his future daughter-in-law, but I could see that he was a strong, dynamic personality and the type to be in charge of things. He was a self-made man, and he had pride in the fact that despite coming from an extremely poor upbringing in Port Kent on Lake Champlain, he had worked hard, eventually putting himself through Cornell Ag School. He married his wife Ruth on Thanksgiving Day 1951 and started a family that grew to four children, Raymond being the firstborn, then Ron, Larry and Sue. You could say he loved his work, but he loved his family even more. His concern for them was paramount above all things. I personally have never heard a disrespectful comment about his wife or his children and as no family is without problems, this was a remarkable thing to me.

In his spare time, he was an avid fisherman and took great pleasure in this activity and in taking care of his boat. He also loved his garden and yard work. These were his escapes from the pressures of life. When the time came, he eased fairly well into retirement, and except for the last few years when the feebleness of extreme old age and no little measure of infirmity had overtaken him, I would say he did go into that good night with a goodly measure of grace.

He was a great storyteller and loved to tell of his life experiences. (As his son Raymond would say-I’ve heard that one many times before.) One story-actually more of a commentary-which I remember most was this: he would say life is like a park bench. You start at one end of the bench when you are born and as you grow older you move toward the other end of the bench and eventually fall off giving way to the next generation. It was his pragmatic way of reminding us of the mortality that comes to us all.

I cannot speak with certainty of anyone’s faith journey, but it was important to him to be at Mass every Sunday and he was always reverential about the things of God. While I know that we do not earn our salvation by doing what is right, but by trusting in what Jesus has done for us, many in his generation did not so much talk of their faith, but demonstrated their belief by walking in integrity as much as possible in this mortal life. He did just that. In his later years, he and my husband would have many a conversation about God, which told me of his interest in these things. What I am certain of is that we can entrust him to the mercy of a loving Father Who created him and Who alone knows his heart.

Dad D.-I am honored to have known you and to have had you as my father-in-law.

Love, Pat

5 Comments:

At 3:48 PM, Blogger Wren King said...

Thank you, my dear, for a lovely testimony to a life well-lived. God be with your family as you send the old gentleman home...

 
At 4:01 PM, Anonymous Georgia said...

Dear Pat,

What a beautiful tribute and a beautiful life. I can see the seeds of Mr. Dague's love and careful nurture grown in his son and grandson (s?) through the stories you have shared about your family over time. You have my sympathy for your loss, but know it is measured by the joy and privilege and gift of having such a man in your lives as model and as source of strength and counsel. Faithful and true fathers are rare in this time and country.
May the Lord bring His peace and joyful memories to comfort you.
All blessings,
Georgia

 
At 8:06 PM, Blogger Ray said...

Dear Pat,
A heartfelt tribute to a good man. I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Dague a couple of times over the years. The one memorable time was by coincidence when we both happened to be in Syracuse at the same time. I remember the delight on Mr. Dague's face was clearly evident when your husband surprised him by taking him to your neighbors to view a restored antique automobile. It was a vintage car that I believe Mr. Dague actually owned and had driven. Well, the delight on his face when your neighbor offered your Father-In-Law the keys to the car to actually drive it. What an experience for him and me as I rode in the back seat of that car. Mr Dague's face lit up like achild looking at his presents on Christmas morning. I am glad I got to see this side of your husband's dad. It was a window to a man who lived life to the fullest. He will be missed.

Love,
Your Brother Ray (See...an honorable name that I am proud to share)

 
At 9:19 PM, Blogger Pat Dague said...

Brother Ray-I remember that day and it is as you said-he was thrilled to drive that car-a Model A Ford which was the first car he had ever owned.

Truly, I am surrounded by Raymonds-my dad, brother, husband and father-in-law all share the name. It means "wise protector", so I must have need of such. -Pat

Thanks to all for your kind comments!

 
At 5:58 PM, Anonymous Beverly and Brad Wirth said...

Dear Raymond and Pat,
Please know that our hearts are with you at this sad time. May your father Raymond rest in peace with the Living Lord, and know the joys of eternity with Jesus. May you and your family be comforted by The One Who Loves Us So Very Dearly, Jesus Our Savior.
Love and Prayers,
Beverly and Brad

 

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